Buhtt sex?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
