Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize