just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
