Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
