she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
