lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
