If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Enjoy the penises
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
