May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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