YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
