I looked at my own cervix.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
