I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
