Im at strip club and am horny
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
