We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
