oh god the rape fog is back!
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize