in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
