Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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