Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize
