He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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