remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I didn't notice because vodka
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize