i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
