I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
