Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize