: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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