Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
