the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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