New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
