New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
