i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
