you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
