I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize