If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
