Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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