i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he was CRYING into my vagina
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Randomize
