It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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