so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
