SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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