we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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