You're so nebulous sometimes
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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