Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just blew my weed a kiss
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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