Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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