My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
