So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
