He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
