HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
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