I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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