No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Less talking, more tequila
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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