Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
