If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
