How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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