GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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