Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
as a side note pls kill me
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
