bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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