Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
