If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Randomize
