had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
