I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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