I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
