he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
