Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
