I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
