I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
